Issue Date: JANUARY 1997; VOLUME 127, NO. 1
IN THIS ISSUE:-
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COVER: DUBIOUS ACHIEVEMENTS of 1996! Cover Photograph By Michael Lavine.

FEATURES:
Dubious Achievement Awards of 1996! Madonna and Jacko have babies! (But not with each other!) There's life on Mars -- and it's not Dennis Rodman! The Unabomber's captured! So's Joe Klein! Plus: Meet the Dubious Overachievers! And the Dubious Man of the Year -- finally, it isn't 0. J.!

Alas! Poor Kenneth! By ELIZABETH KAYE. When KENNETH BRANAGH was the boy wonder of the Shakespearean stage, he made Henry V like falling out of bed. Now things don't come so easily, stakes are higher, he's on edge. What better time to be Hamlet -- or not to be.

Facing Up to Deneuve. By PHILLIP LOPATE. An ode to CATHERINE DENEUVE, nonpareil: her cool affect, her forbidding sensuality, and her formidable, astringent intelligence.

Smell Like Mike; By MARK JACOBSON. In Michael Jordan's inner sanctum, you get a good, strong whiff of what it smells like to be the most famous man in the world. It smells a lot like money.

A Party Down at the Square: FICTION BY RALPH ELLISON. A long-lost short story comes to light and reveals the author's precocious mastery in depicting the excitable mind of an American lynch mob.

REALITY CHECK: Jodie Foster's mystery fan; Bill Clinton's buff photos; and Pierre Salinger's conspiracy theories. Plus: Support your local Scientologist! By Jeannette Walls.

ESKY: Avedon's Pirelli pinups; the perky new Porsche; the other Lisa Marie; a battery-powered bicycle; a toast to Tucson; and true grits. Plus: Dick Clark, the Big Page, Next Up, Ask Esky, Wordman, and Millstones.

THE MALE ANIMAL: Home health tests; why men have lesbian fantasies; how to climb a (frozen) waterfall; conception -- the team sport; when you should lie through your teeth; and more.

GENTLEMAN:
ECRU, BRUTE? The beige badge of comfort. Br WooDr HOCHSWENDER.
SLEEK CHIC: Baywatch's David Chokachi in retro knits. PHOTOGRAPHS BY DAH LEN.
SLEEPWALKING: There's a beautiful woman in your pajamas. PHOTOGRAPHS BY TROY HOUSE.

COLUMNS AND DEPARTMENTS:
Our Man in the White House Ten lessons from Election '96. By WALTER SHAPIRO.
The Sporting Life: Gretzky opens on Broadway. By MIKE LUPICA.
Cinema Verite: How an unfilmable novel became a great movie. Br DAVID THOMSON.
Wild Kingdom: The successful man leaves home each morning. I don't. Br MARK LERNER.
Inside Information: Making advertising click on the Web. Br RANDALL ROTHENBERG.
Money Talks: For the self-insured, a minor medical miracle. Br CHRISTOPHER BYRON.
Mr. Peepers, Esq. Stephen Jay Gould meets da Vinci. BY JULIE BAUMGOLD.
The Sound and the Fury: Letters from readers. Backstage with Esquire: Notes on contributors.
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