1 Gee, Dad, you look cleaner than the Board of Health.
 2 Michael, don't you know any LITTLE words?
 3 That jacket's so loud they can hear you three blocks away!
 4 What a great game--"Pin the Tail on the Jackass!"
 5 Whatta ya call that new cologne--Odor de Stench?
 6 I thought you would make porridge not library paste!
 7 Son, you're skinnier than a stringbean with malnutrition
 8 Now remember, J.J. looks aren't everything!
 9 What's for dinner? Ghetto Goulash?!!
 10 Well strike me dumb--the King has come!
 11 I just lost a close friend, my appetite!
 12 Cook something that'll do you some good, Sis--like brain food!
 13 Ever get the feeling we're being watched?
 14 It's no earthquake--that's my stomach on the growl!
 15 Face it, J.J.--you're just a flag pole with Teeth!
 16 Do I wear it, or fly it?!!
 17 That's the last time I say anything nice to Thelma!
 18 Thelma, you oughta make it in Hollywood--in horror movies!
 19 We're a close knit family--always in stitches!
 20 This must be for Thelma--"Learn to Improve Your Personality!"
 21 J.J.'s doing what he does best "Nothing"
 22 Junior, only you could make a woman dislike a man in uniform.
 23 Don't be too eager--it's only a letter from my principal!
 24 My report card is underwater again--below "C" level!
 25 Take it from me, Michael, you'll like being a sex symbol.
 26 This family sticks together through thick and thin--mostly thin!
 27 You'd better put some clothes on that picture before your mother gets home!
 28 Militant Midget--you will NOT boycott breakfast!
 29 I've just been voted "Man of the Ghetto!"
 30 Just call me the "Van Gogh of the Ghet-to!"
 31 Thanks for the gifts--you couldn't have given them to a nicer guy!
 32 I'd borrow the car tonight, Pop--if you had one!!
 33 Things are pretty bad--Even the muggers are afraid to go out at night!
 34 Thelma, you're outta sight--and you oughta stay that way!
 35 You think you've got problems? J.J.'s my brother!
 36 No, this is not the City Dump--not yet!
 37 You're in luck, Fella, Thelma's not home!
 38 Hmmmpp... She buys her face at the cosmetics counter!
 39 Black is beautiful, Thelma, but you're an exception!
 40 I must have the wrong notebook--this one has work in it!
 41 Hey, Clan--Papa Bear is home!
 42 I would've painted Thelma, Dad, but I'm not into cartooning!
 43 Don't tell Junior, but I think you're the prettiest!
 44 Says here, Ned the Wino fell down four flights of stairs and didn't spill a drop!
 45 Who do you think you are? The Galloping Gourmet of the Ghetto!
 46 Hey, J.J.--Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?!
 47 Ma, I think the chores should be distributed in order of intelligence--the brighter, the lighter!!
 48 The kids voted me scarecrow for the class play!
 49 Protest this picture and I'll paint you a bright shade of red!
 50 Say, Mama, why isn't "Jive Turkey" in the dictionary?
 51 There's only one boss in this family, Son--my belt!
 52 Begone--you jive turkeys!
 53 In my crowd I'm known as the Playboy of the Projects!
 54 Cheer up folks, I'm not getting older... I'm getting better!
 55 J.J.'s so skinny he can use a donut for a life preserver!

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